Escape Route out of the Rut

Recently, I was chosen to participate in a focus group on recreational activities in the Seaport area. Besides the fact that I think doing a focus group is possibly the easiest money to be made and they usually serve snacks, I was excited to do it as a very enthusiastically loyal resident of Lower Manhattan.

To qualify for the group, I was asked a multitude of questions about me, my lifestyle and my entertainment choices. Ah, there’s the rub. This is when I realized the serious rut that I’m in.  Here’s how the interview went:

Surveyor:  When was the last time you visited Brooklyn Bridge Park?

Me: Uh…where?

Surveyor: When was the last time you visited Governor’s island?

Me: Uh…I guess a year ago…no wait, it was before we adopted our dog…hmm six years ago.

My most recent non-restaurant night out
-- lots of culture, right?

Surveyor: Have you shopped at Century 21 within the last six months?

Me: Of course!

But the real death knell came when she asked: If you won an all-expense paid trip to any other city where would you go and what would you do? Remember, money is no object. I was stumped; totally stumped. Somehow San Francisco came into my head so I said that. Now, I keep wishing I said Buenos Aires (as if I was really being offered this trip!) And when she pushed for what I would do in this wonderful city I could only reply, “I guess go to a really good restaurant.” Pathetic. That’s all I could think of. I stammered for a bit and then added something about "seeing a show” (whatever that means) taking some tour (even vaguer). Perhaps even more depressing is the fact that three days later I still can’t think of anything else.

So there is my dilemma. Entertainment has boiled down to basically one thing for me: eating.  Sure, I hear music now and then – but only when someone else invites me. I have basically even stopped going to the movies. I can’t see the point of shelling out more than $30 for me and my husband when we can curl up on the couch and see that same movie for percentage of our Netflix membership a few months later. I haven’t been to the theater since I quit my job in fundraising. When you’ve gotten years and years of free tickets to Broadway benefits it’s painful to shell out triple digits for a ticket (well, at least for me!) When I was single, I would attend evening lectures at museums. That hasn’t happened in over eight years either.

I remember being super proud of myself and my husband that we played mini golf at Pier 25 on one of our rare "date nights" instead of -- you guessed it -- eating out. But mini golf is not culture...is it?

I live in a city that is often tough to bear. It’s crowded, dirty, very expensive, sometimes challenging to navigate, full of intense people darting through the crowd on their way to something very important or standing in the middle of the sidewalk completely oblivious to the world staring at their smartphone. But we stay because New York is a cultural mecca, right? Art! Fashion! Theater! Music! Ballet! Opera! Architecture! Literature! It's all here for the taking but I do not partake.

 

Last night I had dinner with a dear friend who complained that she’s behind watching all the “it” TV shows of the moment. She’s only up to season 2 in Breaking Bad and has way too many Masterpiece Theaters in her DVR. She explained that she’s out every night until 9pm going to lectures, doing pilates, seeing plays, etc. Having had the above epiphany just hours earlier I had to laugh.  I comforted her by explaining that she was living a 3-dimensional life and that TV was merely 2 dimensions. TV should be what we do when we have absolutely nothing else to do. She seemed to accept this happily until my husband came back from the restroom and asked her if she heard about the spin-off of the Walking Dead.

Well, I know change does not come easily but I am stating here and now that I want to change. I want to be as much a part of this vibrant cultural life as I was in my thirties.  Or at least get out as much as we did as a couple before we became doggie parents and decided a fun night was simply adoring the most beautiful border collie in the world. This photo is proof that we have been to museums -- even as far as Rome. I remember I liked it. Although I must admit I look rather jet-lagged!

Step one is that  tonight I’m taking my beloved TV-addicted husband to an off-Broadway show to celebrate his birthday  (for those who know him, his birthday was yesterday and it’s not too late to wish him a Happy Birthday!)

Step Two is enlisting YOUR help. I’m clearly not in the loop. So if you have ideas for outings let me know. If you’ve done something fun and interesting outside a restaurant or multiplex, please share it with me.

I know I’m too old and busy to be out there two or three nights a week. But I feel I can redeem myself if I do something cultural just once a month. So I implore you to send some suggestions my way.

Enjoy!