The Dreaded Backslide

As many of you know, last year I revolutionized the way I ate (whole foods, smaller portions, healthier meals, fewer desserts,) adopted new habits like mindful eating, and started a fitness regimen which included aerobic exercise (walking) and strength training. I wound up losing 34 pounds, felt great and had to buy a totally new wardrobe (kind of a good news/bad news situation.)

My Old "Before" Shot

Last October, I decided I was at my ideal weight, so I stopped weighing, measuring and logging my food. But I was scared. I knew how to gain weight (clearly) and I now knew how to lose weight, but maintaining this new size was uncharted territory. How much more would I be able to eat without gaining back any of the pounds I worked so hard to lose? Could I have pizza and dessert more often...if so how frequently? 

Suddenly -- out of nowhere -- the holiday season came like a hurricane. Never in my life had I been invited to so many parties and gatherings, all testing my new resolve. I did ok, but I definitely ate more than I had during my "dieting" period. But I was too chicken to get on the scale and see what had happened to my body. My weekly weigh-ins were exciting when I was on the downward path, but now...? I just couldn't face the truth. 

Then in January I hit a bit of an emotional slump. I decided (against everything I knew) that the pressure to exercise each day was hurting me so I jettisoned that healthy habit -- one which most likely could have addressed my depression -- like a burning lunar module. 

My Old "After" shot

And slowly my old habits crept in: larger portions, using more butter than I know is wise, having not just one but TWO desserts each night (I often crave a salty snack like chips after a cupcake) and mindlessly nibbling while I cook. When I finally summoned the courage to weigh myself some time in the late winter, I had gained back about five pounds.  I wasn't surprised, but I was disappointed. But not disappointed enough to reach a bottom.

I told myself that things would need to change. I added back in my strength training (as the walking always continued thanks to my Border Collie, Rollo,) but not with same consistency. But that was the only concession. Even though I knew how I was able to lose the weight, I couldn't find the willingness to go back to those habits again -- habits that never felt oppressive, oddly.

So my unhealthy behavior continued. And I basically kept quiet, only telling a few people close to me -- and probably not telling the whole story. The funny thing is, now that I'm a health coach, I know better and perhaps that made me more unwilling to admit defeat and ask for help. 

Two weeks ago, before a one-week vacation at the beach with my family, I got serious and I weighed myself again -- now I was up to a seven-pound weight gain. I needed this dose of reality to try to stem the temptations I would encounter living with my Mom (who offers candy every five minutes) and in close proximity to the best ice cream in the state.  Did this self knowledge work? Well, no because I took no other action but that.  I am up another pound and a half. I have gained back nearly 25% of what I lost. It isn't so much the number that scares me, but how insidious and fast the backslide can happen.

My New "Before"

So today is my Day One:  the day that I am officially surrendering and starting over. I started my day with "BollyBlast" a new workout I record from the TV show on the Veria network. I measured out the ingredients in my breakfast and recorded them in MyFitness Pal (the app that changed my life.) And I am telling the whole world that I backslid. 

Perhaps, this can be your day one too. I would love the company, support and encouragement as I try to drop those extra eight or nine (maybe ten) pounds. Although, I'm eager to lose this unwelcome fat, I have given myself no timeline, because what's most important is that I re-adopt the habits that made me feel my absolute best. 

And, I am comforting myself with the knowledge that now I can better empathize with my health coaching clients that have experience a backslide, too. Very humbling.

Best, Karen

As always, for more information on health coaching and healthy eating visit  Wellbeings With Karen Azeez