Why is it so hard to ask for help? There’s an old parable (are there any new
ones, actually?) about a man sitting on the roof of his house during a hurricane. He is watching and worrying as flood waters rise and rise.
He implores his God to help him. A few minutes later a neighbor comes by with
his ladder and a SUV and says “climb down and we’ll drive you to safety,” the
man refuses explaining that God will save him. An hour later as the water
reaches the windows a family in row boat paddles by and implores him to jump
in. Again our man stays put, relying on his God to save him. At the end of the day a helicopter hovers over
and the man still refuses to go. He is
now alone in the dark. The foundation of his house is about to collapse and he
will be sucked into the muddy waters. He
cries, “why God did you forsake me!” God answers: “I sent you a ladder, a boat
and a helicopter, what more did you want?”
Asking for help certainly leaves us in a vulnerable
position. Perhaps people will say no. Perhaps they will judge us for not
knowing the answer ourselves. Or maybe we’ll feel beholden to the favor-giver.
And to these excuses I say: so what?
If someone says no, they say no. Go on to someone else. Don’t
take it personally because it probably isn’t personal. And, if it is, well then
you have a valuable new piece of information (that friend is no friend.) And
the same is true if they judge us – screw ‘em! They’re just exhibiting some form of their own
insecurity if they need to criticize you for needing help or information.
Sure I love being a know-it-all, but you don’t get to know
much at all if you don’t ask questions. After all you can’t google everything
(or can you?) It’s actually quite liberating to be at a party or gathering and
when someone mentions dark matter to say, “what exactly is dark matter?” Now I have an opportunity to understand dark
matter (well, at least hear about what it is…)
And as for being indebted…well that isn’t really so bad is
it. Most friends will be happy to give (it boosts their self-esteem after all)
but even if they expect something in return, then you have a chance to be the
hero next. Not a bad deal, when you think of it.
I remember several years ago when I was I first began a
journey into self-discovery. I was really trying to be a more open and honest
person when I was struck with a nasty case of food poisoning. My friend – and pseudo
spiritual guide -- Ann insisted on visiting with ginger ale and sorbet to
soothe my turbulent tummy. After
accepting these gifts gratefully, I said, “see, I’m making progress, I can ask
for help now!” She laughed sympathetically and pointed out that I didn’t ask.
Well, accepting the help was still enormous progress for me.
Today I am ready to progress even more. I find myself needing some help and I’m
asking for my friends to rally behind me. It’s time to launch my business as a health coach and I need
my friends to coach me on marketing and to help spread the word. I’d rather not ask. I’d rather the universe
just send me clients. But that’s not how
it works.
I need cheerleaders and I am hoping some of you will apply.
All you need to do is share my blog posts on health and wellness with your
facebook friends, and/or help me find other blogs and online magazines where I can
be a guest blogger/writer. Maybe you have a connection with a gym or spa or
doctor’s office where they could use my services as a coach or to hold a
workshop on weight loss, sleep, stress, nutrition and home cooking? Maybe you yourself are interested in coaching
or have a friend, coworker or parent that could use help and could make a
referral. Or maybe you’re a marketing
wiz and have other ideas of how I can spread the word.
If you’re interested visit my website: www.karenazeezwellbeings.com for
more info on what I do, then we can talk or message about how you can help.
Honestly, I can’t do this alone – and it’s a good exercise
in humility and self-growth to have a team to rely on. So are you ready to be
my cheerleader?
No comments:
Post a Comment