Nine Million Teenagers in Need of a Nanny

The other day I was preparing to do something very important like reading a magazine or watching the Big Bang Theory, when the phone rang. It was a pollster who asked for the youngest male over 18, when he wasn’t available he settled for me. I know most people (with a life) would’ve hung up the phone but I feel that as a Middle Class Manhattanite I am the last of a dying breed and that my voice needs to be heard. I also am not shy about sharing my viewpoints (perhaps the reason for this blog in the first place,) so I stayed on the line.

For the next ten minutes or so, this poor sap with a thick Ozarks accent fired questions at me about Mayor Bloomberg and New York City politics. His questions were clearly designed to elicit my raging disappointment towards our three-term mayor like, “would you categorize him as “bossy, mommy-ish, overboard or….(said quietly)…effective;” “Do you think he should spend the rest of his term focusing on important issues or continue the way he has been going”.  He launched into a series of questions about Bloomberg’s former, proposed and failed regulations. I’m pretty sure I didn’t give him the answers he wanted. Whether the topic was eliminating trans fat, tobacco taxes, smoking restrictions or the much-maligned large sugary drink ban, I voiced my support of our current mayor.

I should disclose that I am currently in school for nutrition and health and I back any effort to help people curb destructive habits such as smoking, and eating too much sugar and fat. But that’s not the whole story. Although the poll dearly wanted me to admit that Bloomberg was running a “Nanny State” and that I should be outraged, I wouldn’t say that. Frankly I think we New Yorkers need a nanny.

First of all, when did nannies get such a bad rap? Didn’t we all love Mary Poppins – after all she’s still on Broadway. And weren’t we entranced by the crafty British caretaker on “Nanny and the Professor” (for those of a certain middle age like me.) I thought that nannies were stern but loving forces of good. With songs or cute tricks they taught us to take our medicine – because that’s what we needed whether it tasted bad or not.

Secondly, I’d like to know why Bloomberg’s predecessor, tough guy Rudy Giuliani, was never referred to as a “Nanny” when he tore down the triple X movie theaters that led the way to the Disney-fication of Times Square, or when he cracked down on “quality of life” laws such as littering and bikes on sidewalks. Weren’t these new policies also hard pills to swallow but – in the end – for our own good? Perhaps politics has something to do with that. Maybe only closet liberals can be nannies.

The more I thought about this, the more I realized that New Yorkers are just a bunch of teenagers in need of a good nanny.  We tend to forget that our government (like our parents or nannies) provides much of what we need – stuff we couldn’t do ourselves – on a daily basis. Because things run pretty smoothly, we don’t always think about schools, bridges and roads, our police, courts and judges, and clean parks. In New York we even have the luxury of free garbage pick-up and snow removal, and top notch fire fighters and emergency medical technicians. That’s not the case in most small cities and towns where you must rely on volunteers or pay commercial firms for those vital services.  We forget that the city has created sophisticated recycling programs, and lured new industry and millions of tourists here year after year giving our city much needed revenue to pay for most of these programs.

 

NYPD on the scene during hurricane Sandy

 

We take these important services, which allow us to pursue our lives, for granted and then grow resentful about laws and regulations we think are unnecessary. Like teenagers, we want the warm, safe house, the food on our table and the clothes our parents provide but cry injustice when we’re not allowed to get a tattoo or stay out late. Those rules are unfair because we think we’re all grown up and know what’s good for us.

But whether you down donuts by the dozen and smoke like a chimney you have to agree that there are long term benefits for the rest of the city if Bloomberg’s “Nanny” regulations work: fewer people will suffer from obesity, diabetes and cancer. We can all save millions in tax dollars for unnecessary medical costs and worker absenteeism.

A good nanny knows that our indulgences today will affect our future lives. If you don’t believe her, just try to get a good job in your thirties with that neck tattoo peeking over your collar.