Seven Ways My Dog Changed My Life

Earlier this month I my husband and I celebrated the birth of our six year-old.  Our pride and joy, the apple of our eye…our border collie, Rollo.


We often call Rollo our furry baby and joke that we are a “mixed-species family.” I’m sure our attitude towards our beloved pup inspires a bit of ridicule from friends and family but we don’t care. We know we are nuts about the boy (as we call him) and we are ever grateful for how he’s changed our lives.


Throughout my life I have been no stranger to change. I chose to go from an enormous New York City public high school to a tiny, ivy-covered elitist liberal arts college. I spent a year studying in Eastern Europe before the wall came down. I’ve done crap loads of self-exploration, self-improvement and self-care. I’ve started and ended business and recently chucked a 25-year career to go back to school.  And I’ve probably had 14 different hair colors to boot.


But, one of the most drastic changes to my life (and 98 % for the better) came when we adopted our dog.  Seriously.  So, to honor his birthday and perhaps give a push to some of you out there ready to make the same life-altering move I offer you this list of Seven Ways My Dog Changed My Life:

#1  Rollo Killed the Hermit

Unless you have a little fluff ball of a dog that is content using a Wee Wee Pad, every dog parent knows that no matter the weather or how tired and sore you are, you are going out.  And, although at times I have cursed this fate – like during any storm, or middle-of-the-night emergencies, or his early morning phase – I know that overall, Rollo was able to banish our hermit tendencies for good. I am a couch potato who married a homebody. And left to our own devices, we’d spend every moment cuddled up watching a Breaking Bad Marathon. Rollo gets us out into the sunshine and into society. We experience life in all its facets, good, bad and oblivious on the streets of New York. We witness wildlife (mostly squirrels and pigeons, but also geese, ducks, sea gulls and some other more exotic faunae.) We watch our neighborhood change as new stores open and close – honestly, we have probably covered every square inch of real estate below Canal street from the Seaport to the Hudson.  And, we even have an adventure or two, like when Rollo and I got accidentally locked in a warehouse on Pier 40 or when we helped a drunk girl get into a cab safely.  No matter how exciting it is to watch Walter White’s escapades, it is much more satisfying to live our own.

#2 Rollo is my Personal Trainer

Exercise regimens come and go. In the past several years, I’ve belonged to NY Sports, I’ve taken yoga and I’ve bought myriad workout DVDs.  But no matter what I will always have my own furry personal trainer demanding I walk anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours a day.  So when I can’t find a new yoga instructor, I get bored of Zumba or Boot Camp, I know that I will never be without some exercise in my life and I am grateful for that – and so are my heart and lungs.

#3 Rollo is my Cruise Director

Just like the Love Boat’s Julie, Rollo conspires to introduce us to new and fascinating people all the time. Before Rollo came to live with us, we used to nod politely at our neighbor , Rita, whose door was a mere three feet from ours. That was the extent of the relationship after many years of sharing a narrow corridor. But after his arrival, he would bark loudly and excitedly whenever she arrived home and wouldn’t cease until we opened the door and greeted her. A simple hello (and a few licks) turned into small friendly chats, which turned into sharing my turkey chili when she came home very late and tired, which eventually metamorphosed into dinners at each other’s home and watching Downton Abbey and Top Chef together each week and accompanying each other to scary MRIs and emergency room visits – in other words – a true and loving friendship.  We also befriended the neighborhood dog walker who, despite the fact that she was born in the Congo, seems to be my long, lost sister (well in attitude anyway!) There are also countless neighbors, merchants and other Tribeca dog owners who know us (Rollo by name and me by association!) and are happy to see us in our travels. Rollo has turned a lonely, cold city into Mayberry for me.  

#4 Rollo Forced Me to Grow Up

Despite the fact, that I was in my mid-forties when we adopted Rollo, my general lack of responsibility (except for my job) kept me in a state of latent adolescence.  I could stay out all night if I wanted to, sleep all day, forget  to eat and not get dressed without any real consequences (well, on the weekend mostly.) Once we adopted this sweet, vulnerable creature all that changed. All of a sudden his life, his health and happiness were my and Steve’s responsibility (thank God I have a partner in this.) Within days I had to find a good vet and trainer, learn what food suited him have an ample stock at all times, keep his water bowl filled (heck, buy him a water bowl!) I had to educate myself on all things canine.  It was so stressful for me those first few weeks that I lost seven pounds! Now that I kind of have it down, I don’t stress as much but I am still responsible for his care and well-being. And that makes me a different kind of person. I am tethered, I am important and I am an adult. Sure, it means that I can’t jet off to Cozumel at the drop of a hat, but being Rollo’s Mommy (mocking can begin now) is a role that I am honored to play. It provides a new, deeper meaning to my life (aside from being Steve’s wife and Barb’s daughter etc.)

#5 Rollo is My Guru

Very few of us have the luxury of the kind of uninterrupted silence and calmness that allows us to have epiphanies and work out deep emotions. I do.  Often when Rollo and I are together, we find long stretches of New York pavement where we are alone (or at least in the company of a few intrepid joggers or other dog walkers.) It is in these blissful moments by the Hudson that my fevered brain can rest and my jumbled thoughts can dance before my subconscious and turn into good ideas. Sometimes I share these notions with Rollo. And although he can’t really speak, I often can gauge whether or not he approves.  Then there are the days when I am fostering a painful resentment or on the horns of a thorny dilemma.  I also confess my inner turmoil to Rollo who listens intently and without judgment. By the time we return home, I have found that most of my dark thoughts have dissipated. And it’s much cheaper than psychotherapy (believe me!)

#6 Rollo Taught Me Balance

Being the kind of overprotective doggie parents that we are, Steve and I bought a shelf’s worth of dog books in our first year with Rollo. What I took away from the many experts I read was that each dog needs three things to thrive: discipline, food and fun. And, over the years, I have found that the same rules apply to me, as well.  While Rollo is happiest when his walks and meals fall into a consistent routine I am also most content when I rise at the same time, take my exercise routinely and eat at normal intervals.  Rollo and I have invented a few games that he insists we play each day. In the morning he likes to be jump on the bed and be covered in our blankets, at which time I must ask nervously, “where’s Rollo?! Where’s Rollo?” Then he pokes his head out and we all laugh (repeat three times.) At night, after the last walk of the day, I must chase him back into the bedroom, jump on the bed with him facing the window and bark at the security guard at the Bank of America across Greenwich Street.  No matter how tired I am or how many times we performed this odd task, I laugh heartedly and am magically filled with renewed energy.  I am sure there were times before Rollo (B.R.) that I would go an entire day without laughing. Now, I’m sure that never happens. Never.  I laugh, I giggle and I make up songs about him on a daily basis.

#7 Rollo Keeps me in the Moment

When you have a lively, intense 65-pound animal at the end of a leash you have be aware and awake at all times. Especially, when this beloved beast has a propensity to lunge at skateboarders (and who can blame him?) I have developed a method to keep us (and others) safe as we walk the mean streets of lower Manhattan: I scan the horizon and then I look at our feet and what’s directly ahead and around us. I repeat this ritual a thousand times during our walks. If I see a wild child speeding along recklessly on his scooter a block away I cross the street. By looking down and around, I deftly avoid walking into to other dog’s poo or deep murky puddles. And, so,  we arrive home unscathed.  This method has helped me stay aware and awake in my own life as well. Each day I must look ahead and prepare for what’s coming, but I must also stay grounded and avoid the everyday pitfalls that can throw me off.  While I plan for my new business, I must also sweep the floor so I don’t track spilled chia seeds all over the apartment. 

A loving dog owner once remarked that, given the relatively short time dogs, live that as soon as we fall in love with them, we can hear the clock ticking. Although, I try to push aside this rather somber thought, what I take away is from that that every moment I have with him – and everyone I love, in fact – is precious and to be cherished. That keeps me in the moment and in gratitude.

So Happy Birthday Rollo, and thank you for sharing your life with all of us.  

Seven Ways My Dog Changed My Life

Earlier this month I my husband and I celebrated the birth of our six year-old.  Our pride and joy, the apple of our eye…our border collie, Rollo.

We often call Rollo our furry baby and joke that we are a “mixed-species family.” I’m sure our attitude towards our beloved pup inspires a bit of ridicule from friends and family but we don’t care. We know we are nuts about the boy (as we call him) and we are ever grateful for how he’s changed our lives.

Throughout my life I have been no stranger to change. I chose to go from an enormous New York City public high school to a tiny, ivy-covered elitist liberal arts college. I spent a year studying in Eastern Europe before the wall came down. I’ve done crap loads of self-exploration, self-improvement and self-care. I’ve started and ended business and recently chucked a 25-year career to go back to school.  And I’ve probably had 14 different hair colors to boot.

But, one of the most drastic changes to my life (and 98 % for the better) came when we adopted our dog.  Seriously.  So, to honor his birthday and perhaps give a push to some of you out there ready to make the same life-altering move I offer you this list of Seven Ways My Dog Changed My Life:

#1  Rollo Killed the Hermit

Unless you have a little fluff ball of a dog that is content using a Wee Wee Pad, every dog parent knows that no matter the weather or how tired and sore you are, you are going out.  And, although at times I have cursed this fate – like during any storm, or middle-of-the-night emergencies, or his early morning phase – I know that overall, Rollo was able to banish our hermit tendencies for good. I am a couch potato who married a homebody. And left to our own devices, we’d spend every moment cuddled up watching a Breaking Bad Marathon. Rollo gets us out into the sunshine and into society. We experience life in all its facets, good, bad and oblivious on the streets of New York. We witness wildlife (mostly squirrels and pigeons, but also geese, ducks, sea gulls and some other more exotic faunae.) We watch our neighborhood change as new stores open and close – honestly, we have probably covered every square inch of real estate below Canal street from the Seaport to the Hudson.  And, we even have an adventure or two, like when Rollo and I got accidentally locked in a warehouse on Pier 40 or when we helped a drunk girl get into a cab safely.  No matter how exciting it is to watch Walter White’s escapades, it is much more satisfying to live our own.

#2 Rollo is my Personal Trainer

Exercise regimens come and go. In the past several years, I’ve belonged to NY Sports, I’ve taken yoga and I’ve bought myriad workout DVDs.  But no matter what I will always have my own furry personal trainer demanding I walk anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours a day.  So when I can’t find a new yoga instructor, I get bored of Zumba or Boot Camp, I know that I will never be without some exercise in my life and I am grateful for that – and so are my heart and lungs.

#3 Rollo is my Cruise Director

Just like the Love Boat’s Julie, Rollo conspires to introduce us to new and fascinating people all the time. Before Rollo came to live with us, we used to nod politely at our neighbor , Rita, whose door was a mere three feet from ours. That was the extent of the relationship after many years of sharing a narrow corridor. But after his arrival, he would bark loudly and excitedly whenever she arrived home and wouldn’t cease until we opened the door and greeted her. A simple hello (and a few licks) turned into small friendly chats, which turned into sharing my turkey chili when she came home very late and tired, which eventually metamorphosed into dinners at each other’s home and watching Downton Abbey and Top Chef together each week and accompanying each other to scary MRIs and emergency room visits – in other words – a true and loving friendship.  We also befriended the neighborhood dog walker who, despite the fact that she was born in the Congo, seems to be my long, lost sister (well in attitude anyway!) There are also countless neighbors, merchants and other Tribeca dog owners who know us (Rollo by name and me by association!) and are happy to see us in our travels. Rollo has turned a lonely, cold city into Mayberry for me.  

#4 Rollo Forced Me to Grow Up

Despite the fact, that I was in my mid-forties when we adopted Rollo, my general lack of responsibility (except for my job) kept me in a state of latent adolescence.  I could stay out all night if I wanted to, sleep all day, forget  to eat and not get dressed without any real consequences (well, on the weekend mostly.) Once we adopted this sweet, vulnerable creature all that changed. All of a sudden his life, his health and happiness were my and Steve’s responsibility (thank God I have a partner in this.) Within days I had to find a good vet and trainer, learn what food suited him have an ample stock at all times, keep his water bowl filled (heck, buy him a water bowl!) I had to educate myself on all things canine.  It was so stressful for me those first few weeks that I lost seven pounds! Now that I kind of have it down, I don’t stress as much but I am still responsible for his care and well-being. And that makes me a different kind of person. I am tethered, I am important and I am an adult. Sure, it means that I can’t jet off to Cozumel at the drop of a hat, but being Rollo’s Mommy (mocking can begin now) is a role that I am honored to play. It provides a new, deeper meaning to my life (aside from being Steve’s wife and Barb’s daughter etc.)

#5 Rollo is My Guru

Very few of us have the luxury of the kind of uninterrupted silence and calmness that allows us to have epiphanies and work out deep emotions. I do.  Often when Rollo and I are together, we find long stretches of New York pavement where we are alone (or at least in the company of a few intrepid joggers or other dog walkers.) It is in these blissful moments by the Hudson that my fevered brain can rest and my jumbled thoughts can dance before my subconscious and turn into good ideas. Sometimes I share these notions with Rollo. And although he can’t really speak, I often can gauge whether or not he approves.  Then there are the days when I am fostering a painful resentment or on the horns of a thorny dilemma.  I also confess my inner turmoil to Rollo who listens intently and without judgment. By the time we return home, I have found that most of my dark thoughts have dissipated. And it’s much cheaper than psychotherapy (believe me!)

#6 Rollo Taught Me Balance

Being the kind of overprotective doggie parents that we are, Steve and I bought a shelf’s worth of dog books in our first year with Rollo. What I took away from the many experts I read was that each dog needs three things to thrive: discipline, food and fun. And, over the years, I have found that the same rules apply to me, as well.  While Rollo is happiest when his walks and meals fall into a consistent routine I am also most content when I rise at the same time, take my exercise routinely and eat at normal intervals.  Rollo and I have invented a few games that he insists we play each day. In the morning he likes to be jump on the bed and be covered in our blankets, at which time I must ask nervously, “where’s Rollo?! Where’s Rollo?” Then he pokes his head out and we all laugh (repeat three times.) At night, after the last walk of the day, I must chase him back into the bedroom, jump on the bed with him facing the window and bark at the security guard at the Bank of America across Greenwich Street.  No matter how tired I am or how many times we performed this odd task, I laugh heartedly and am magically filled with renewed energy.  I am sure there were times before Rollo (B.R.) that I would go an entire day without laughing. Now, I’m sure that never happens. Never.  I laugh, I giggle and I make up songs about him on a daily basis.

#7 Rollo Keeps me in the Moment

When you have a lively, intense 65-pound animal at the end of a leash you have be aware and awake at all times. Especially, when this beloved beast has a propensity to lunge at skateboarders (and who can blame him?) I have developed a method to keep us (and others) safe as we walk the mean streets of lower Manhattan: I scan the horizon and then I look at our feet and what’s directly ahead and around us. I repeat this ritual a thousand times during our walks. If I see a wild child speeding along recklessly on his scooter a block away I cross the street. By looking down and around, I deftly avoid walking into to other dog’s poo or deep murky puddles. And, so,  we arrive home unscathed.  This method has helped me stay aware and awake in my own life as well. Each day I must look ahead and prepare for what’s coming, but I must also stay grounded and avoid the everyday pitfalls that can throw me off.  While I plan for my new business, I must also sweep the floor so I don’t track spilled chia seeds all over the apartment. 

A loving dog owner once remarked that, given the relatively short time dogs, live that as soon as we fall in love with them, we can hear the clock ticking. Although, I try to push aside this rather somber thought, what I take away is from that that every moment I have with him – and everyone I love, in fact – is precious and to be cherished. That keeps me in the moment and in gratitude.

So Happy Birthday Rollo, and thank you for sharing your life with all of us.  

Resolve to Keep Your Resolutions – Six Easy Steps

We’ve all been there. December 31^st we pledge sincerely to give up sugar (or smoking or white lies or biting or nails…whatever) but somewhere around noon on January 2^nd we find ourselves chowing down gleefully on a cronut. Feeling weak and defeated, most of us decide to give up on our resolution entirely, and so another year goes by with our bad habits (and less than perfect health) intact.

That’s why lots of mental health experts, lifestyle gurus and the like caution folks not to make New Year’s resolutions. But I disagree. It’s not that I’m one to jump on the pop culture bandwagon and do whatever the rest of the world is doing – in fact, I often like to eschew so-called middle-American norms as a die-hard New Yorker – but as an aspiring health coach, I am a huge proponent of positive change and realize that the new year is a great jumping off point.

So, I am offering some very simple tips to help you avoid the pitfalls falling short of our resolutions and the subsequent feelings of failure and depression.

#1 Keep it Simple

I recently spent an evening with a lovely and intelligent “Type A” woman who delivered an impassioned monologue about everything that needed fixing in her life. At the end of it she took a deep breath and summarized, “so all I need to do is lose weight, start exercising, change jobs and stop smoking.” Oh, that’s all? You don’t want to add curing cancer or bringing peace to the Middle East to the list while you’re at it? Sure, our lives may seem like a mess sometimes, and it’s natural to want to clean it all up at once but that doesn’t work. Think about it, it’s impossible to clean all the rooms of your house at once; you have to pick a spot and move to another when you finish. Your life is no different.

So, when it comes to resolutions, pick one or two things maximum.  For example, I would advise the woman above to start walking 20 minutes a day. Most of us can do that, it’s easy: get off the subway a stop earlier; walk your errands on your lunch hour; take a stroll after dinner. Once you see that you can handle the 20-minute walk, you’ll want to do more. And, you’ll be surprised that once one part of your life comes more orderly or healthy you seem to have more energy, motivation and time to tackle the rest. But again, go slowly and methodically so as not to get overwhelmed and give up.

#2 Analyze Obstacles and Motivations

Let’s say you decide to take that 20-minute walk but Monday goes by, and then Tuesday and then Wednesday and you haven’t budged from your desk, and the only walking that has taken place is from the couch to the fridge. You tell yourself you’re tired, you’re busy and you’ll start next week. But this is actually a perfect time to really examine what’s going on.

For example, last summer I decided to start a meditation practice, but this decision lay on the shelf like that book on Churchill I keep meaning to read.  I gave myself a small goal of just 5 minutes so I couldn’t really blame my inability to start this new habit on a lack of time. I thought that privacy and quiet could be the issue, but even when I demanded my husband take a walk with the dog and leave me in peace it didn’t happen. I looked at all the changes I had made up until then (starting to exercise, eating better, etc.) and couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t make this relatively easy one happen. Then I realized that I knew that eating less and exercising would lead to weight loss (because I had done it before.) But, I had no real faith that meditation would help me with stress and clarity. I also realized that I loved the feeling of satisfaction that the ever decreasing numbers on the scale provided, but meditation offered no milestones or incentives like that. Then I found a wonderful meditation app that reminds you to meditate at the same time each day and keeps track of all the minutes and hours you spend each week in silent contemplation (or lack thereof really.) So I borrowed a bit of faith, downloaded the app and finally started a daily practice.

So dig deep and really try to figure out what your obstacles are. Do you fear it will not work? That you’ll be unhappy? Is there a childhood resistance attached (“my mom always made me”…fill in the blank.) Whatever the obstacle or missing motivation, try new ways to overcome it. One great way to do that is….

3 # Ask for Help

One of the most freeing statements in the world is “I don’t know.” The only way we begin to learn anything new is by admitting what we don’t know. So, if you don’t know how to begin a new diet, if you feel lonely walking alone, if you need accountability or support just ask for it. But be careful about who you ask. Unfortunately, many people close to us won’t – for various reasons – be as thrilled as we are about the changes we want to make. Fellow smokers might feel guilty if you quit. Drinking buddies will mourn your absence at the bar, and gourmand friends will continually try to entice you with bacon-wrapped anything. No one wants to feel guilty about continuing their less-than-healthy habits so don’t flaunt your efforts to change in their face. When I need motivation working out I don’t call my wonderful mother whose idea of exercise is watching QVC while vacuuming, I talk to my martial artist husband who works out even when we’re on vacation.  Having someone to provide encouragement and to whom you’re accountable more than doubles your chances at succeeding. If you think humans do well alone just watch Castaway or --  even better – The Shining!

#4 Learn how to Fail like a Champ

We’re all going to have our setbacks from time to time but it has been said that successful business people fail quickly, cheaply and only once.  In other words, they don’t invest a lot of time or money in risky ventures and they learn from their mistakes. What does that mean for your resolutions? Well, for one, when you’re just learning to cook healthy don’t go out and buy a $600 Vitamix in the first week. Or when you’re trying to get back into exercising don’t start by plunking down $200 a month to join Equinox. Because when your lack of motivation or other obstacles creep up and you feel like a failure that you haven’t made that lentil barley soup or made it to the gym in two weeks, you’ll feel even worse knowing how much cash you lost as well. Again, start simple, start slow and when you have an off day or week, just start your day or your week over again in that instant. Put failure in your rear view mirror as quickly as possible.

#5 Keep Changing

I, like most denizens of the 21^st Century, have the attention span of a coked-up bumble bee. When I started exercising at home (so as not to make the expensive mistake listed above) I bought the Zumba Gold set of 6 or 7 different DVDs. Brilliant. Just learning all the different steps and then getting accustomed to the different instructors etc. kept my mind as busy as my hips. But even with this variety I began to get bored after a few months. So I trolled the enormous range of workout offerings on Overstock.com and found a few more DVDs for kettlebell, boot camp and cardio interval training. Now I switch them up all the time and haven’t let boredom sink my routine. Furthermore, our bodies adjust to different workouts very quickly and you will no longer see dramatic results – which could also lead to quitting. So mix it up. If you’re dieting, learn a new healthy recipe each week. If you’re trying to quit smoking, try new ways to keep yourself occupied and so on.

#6 Be Kind to Yourself

So, what’s my New Year’s resolution you may ask? I posted it a few days ago: Judge less and accept more. And at a party on New Year’s day I found myself gossiping about a mutual friend and gloried in listing all his character defects. I came home, wondered why I had done it and felt like a jerk. But I took a deep breath, forgave myself and reasserted my intentions. After all, judging is so much part of my history that I’m sure a wagging finger is on our family crest. Change – especially really old behaviors – doesn’t happen overnight. And low self-esteem is often at the roots of many of our more destructive habits. Beating one’s self up isn’t going to help – it’s probably going to lead you right back to the bad habit. So be happy if you resist one gossip session, lose half a pound a week, smoke less than the day before and so on. It’s all going the right direction. None of us will ever become saints. It’s progress, not perfection.

Good luck with your resolutions and if you or anyone you know needs help achieving small changes, let me know if I can help!